Drink of the Week: Sangria

Truth be told, all week I’d been wracking my brain trying to come up with a suitable feature for my next installment of Drink of the Week. As an attempt to hold onto whatever strings of integrity one possibly could in keeping up an online tome of drunken ramblings, I’d wanted it to be something that I’d actually imbibed within a least the past couple of days. Not that I was at a loss for possibilities; red wine, multiple incarnations of vodka soda, Jameson and ginger ale… nothing at hand really piqued any interest. I told myself that I would get this done today, even with little money or ideas as to what the fuck I was going to write about. This morning, still under my covers and trying to mentally go through my breakfast options, I realized I had on hand the makings of red sangria. Or at least shitty, lazy-ass “this is kinda almost correct” sangria. What the hell, works for me.

Truth bomb #2: I haven’t made sangria in a while. After years of perfecting my recipe, I figured I’d give sangria a rest for a bit. After all, it would be a damn shame to get sick of such a versatile, festive concoction. There are innumerable variations and chances are you or someone you know has a go-to sangria recipe, be it white or red based. Personally, I stick with red and I prefer uncarbonated, though I find that for most people, and this seems to be the case especially in restaurants, carbonated sangria is the rule. Truth bomb #3: that pisses me off. Why sully a fantastic, full bodied yet refreshing drink with fucking Sprite? Who the fuck do you think you are, guy? I’m not some sorority chick looking to get wasted off a fruity, pansy-ass $7.99 pitcher of your house specialty. Do you know how many times I’ve seen sangria on a menu, gotten all excited, only come to find out the heathen mouth breathers at the bar throw together some Minute Maid, 7-Up, and a bottle of Shiraz and call it sangria? A shit-ton. Of course, everyone is free to his or her opinion of what good sangria entails. It is my belief that carbonated sangria is best suited for those made with a chardonnay base, but that’s just me.

Truth bomb #4: I’m currently drinking carbonated red sangria… and it is pretty fucking awful. Leftover Yellow Tail Cabernet, OJ and vanilla soda water which kinda makes it taste like yogurt. Sangria… yogurt. If the mere thought of that makes you want to vomit, trust me – it’s worse when you taste it.  Rest assured, what I’m choking down at the moment is nothing in comparison to what I usually make and is so far removed to what I would ever dare serve to a guest it’s a damn near crime.

My Red Sangria

    • 1 bottle of red wine (I usually use Zinfandel)
    • 2 cups spiced rum
    • 2 cups OJ
    • 1 cup chopped peaches
    • 1 orange sliced into rounds
    • 1 tbsp sugar (optional, I usually omit) 
    • Cinnamon sticks for serving

Marinate the fruit in the rum for at least an hour or overnight, in a pitcher if you have the time. Mix all ingredients except the cinnamon in your pitcher. Serve chilled, over ice, and garnish with a cinnamon stick.

Same as last week, this would be a fine accompaniment to a Mexican or Spanish meal, or how I usually roll: an accompaniment to homemade guacamole and chips. Damn, now I really want to throw another Taco Party… I should get on that. Now, excuse me while I finish this garbage-ass bullshit I’m making myself drink and proceed to vomit and curse for the remainder of the day. Integrity my ass.

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3 responses to “Drink of the Week: Sangria

  1. I have a really retarded jungle juice sangria recipe… I should send it over to you. But it’s actually clericot!

  2. Cleriot = white wine sangria.. but it could be easily adapted to red sangria, with a few swap outs. GET FUCKED!

  3. Clericot = white wine sangria.. but it could be easily adapted to red sangria, with a few swap outs. GET FUCKED!

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